SRI LANKA REVISITED
Part 3
It is the end of December, we are choosing a Lufthansa / Srilankan Air flight on February 13th from Poznań to Colombo via Munich and Mumbai. Almost 30 hours from home to home.
In mid-January, the German still does not pay Akitha his salary (for a total of 6 weeks) and does not provide a reason. He dismisses the employee with jokes (!). At my strong persuasion, Akitha finds a room for rent and leaves his job in the restaurant to work for the Swiss man only.
At least he gets free from slavish exploitation and the disgusting atmosphere.
On the night of January 18 (the date is important), Akitha calls me and, devastated, informs me of the death of his father.
A death in a Buddhist family has consequences for several important reasons. This means the loss of a loved one and very serious financial expenses for the following weeks, months, and even years.
To fully understand the significance of this death and the consequences in the possibility of implementing plans to create a tourist business in Akitha's family, I quote the most important fragments of the description of a funeral ceremony and the period of necessary mourning.
”White pieces of fabric stuck on the fence indicate an approaching funeral.
The body is found in the house. He is placed in a coffin on a white bed. Elephant tusks are crossed above the head. In wealthy families it is natural ivory, in less wealthy families it is made of plastic. The deceased is dressed in a black suit, white shirt, white gloves and socks. Without shoes. He must be at home for at least three days. Family, neighbors and friends often visit the deceased.
There is a 24-hour vigil. There are tables and chairs set up in the yard for guests. The family is obliged to prepare refreshments. This is a big expense, so everyone brings something to share with others on this special day.
Usually it is coffee, tea, rice, biscuits.
The immediate family is always with the deceased, other people gather outside. (…) Every few hours there is a change. The vigilantes return home and those who come say goodbye to the deceased. Hot rice and carry appears on buffets. Women sit separately with small children in their arms.
Everyone is dressed in casual clothes, colorful blouses, flip-flops, T-shirts and shorts.
The funeral takes place at the funeral home. In one of the many rooms, the coffin is placed on a platform, beautifully decorated with flowers. The lid is open. Special white armchairs for Buddhist monks in the central area, a few plastic chairs for the family and space on the floor for the rest. Two monks lead the funeral ceremony.
There is a bowl, a glass and a pitcher of water on a small table. The immediate family grabs the jug together. Water, a symbol of flowing life, pours from a glass into a bowl. After a while, the jug is empty. Life is over. Everyone gathered touch the coffin from several sides and pour perfumed water from a small bottle over the body of the deceased. Monks are given farewell gifts to the temple: orange Buddhist clothes, food bowls, money.
There are musicians in traditional Sri Lankan costumes waiting in front of the building. The loud sounds of drums announce the passing of a hearse through the city. (…) The body is burned but can also be buried in the ground depending on the will of the family.
Everyone is required to wear white, festive clothing.
After the funeral ceremony, guests are invited to refreshments. Juices, coffee and tea are served, no alcohol is drunk.
After seven days, the monk comes home in the evening to pray for an hour. Cookies and fruit are served. The next day he appears again at the deceased's family home. After the prayer, a festive dinner is served. After three months, the situation repeats itself. Another meeting and prayers.
After a year, on the anniversary of his death, a family meeting is organized, a monk is invited and a party is prepared. Depending on their financial means, guests receive a meal and gifts in the form of rice and tea.”
Thanks to his friend who is a tuk-tuk driver, Akitha reaches his family home the same night. Emotionally he participates in all elements of the funeral ceremony. He borrows money (more on the amounts in a moment) from a family friend.
Four hundred (!!) people participate in the posthumous ceremonies and each time the mourners are treated to appropriate refreshments.
In Buddhism it is called "almsgiving" which is to show respect for the deceased and ensure the peace of the soul still wandering among the living.
Gifts for the monks and the above-mentioned refreshments cost over 200,000 Sri Lankan rupees, which is approximately US $650. and over PLN 2,600.
Akitha will be repaying the debt over many months.
In a country where the monthly salary of our waiter does not exceed USD 150 and the family has no financial resources.
Tradition, customs and social pressure are stronger than hunger!
After two weeks, Akitha returns to work for the kind Swiss and to his room with the family.
He is deeply affected by his father's passing away and the loss of his life mentor. He is worried about his mother's situation, hoping that her eldest daughter will take care of her in times of need.
There are no other topics in our phone conversations.
Two days after returning to his room, also at night, Akitha helps take the lady of the house, whom he has grown to like, to the hospital.
The woman dies in the morning, and Akitha loses the opportunity to stay in the rented room.
Coincidentally, the Swiss man has a guest room available, and Akitha can stay there for a few days.
Akitha takes the vigil for the deceased equally seriously.
