Talk forty one.
Los Angeles, California, 09th March
- Without regreting I said goodbye to Las Vegas and drove to Los Angeles. It was barely 450 km.
- Remember? A couple of years ago, I’d fed you a sandwich lunch on the beach in Santa Monica, as I did this time, and then I talked you into taking a very long walk on the boulevard in crazy Venice Beach[3].
- Don’t exaggerate. You didn’t have to talk me into it. I like that place.
- The photos (and in a small part only) but not the words can describe the atmosphere of the place where the craziest people from Los Angeles get together.
- This time I was surprised to see those “doctors’ offices” where you could get medical prescription for marijuana necessary for your health problems.
- I am always struck by the colourful crowd and vividness and joy on the faces of the people. The only problem they might have, it's not enough money. Although without it they look happy, anyway.
- How did you like the evening with Paul – a Pole who we met through the Internet?
- As usual in such cases, I have a so-called mixed feelings. Did he meet us to show off his financial independence (a euphemism for his wealth) or wanted to get to know interesting people?
- I didn’t get it in such a short time. However, I liked the way he spends free time.
- And he’s got a lot of it as he’d inherited a fortune from his partner to whom he’d been married. He’s over fifty now and he doesn’t have to work.
- Several times a year he goes on a cruise in different parts of the world on luxury ships.
- So do many American pensioners!
- But those are not cruises for pensioners! Those are cruises for gays. Hundreds, if not thousands of gays on one ship! Of all ages.
- Heaven on Earth!
- Don’t be surprised, Paul told us that he wasn’t going there for any sexual any excesses. He’s self-critical enough as a potential seducer. He just likes to be in that atmosphere, among those beautiful, happy people and he doesn’t hide his fancying that "sex vibrating air”.
- It’s just like a health spa!
- Treatments are included in the price!
- Would you fancy a cruise like that?
- Yes, I would. I’d go for such a cruise with you.
- Carrying coals to Newcastle? (Polish: carrying wood to the forest)
- You with your stories over! I’d like to breathe that "sex vibrating air”!
- With such a declaration, I’m getting interested myself!
- It was fun being invited by Paul to lunch at the oldest American restaurant "Bob's Big Boy" from 1946. They have "real" burgers there!
- I told you long ago that all the other burgers (no product location, please!) were just a bad substitute. Those in the "Bob's Big Boy" were delicious! The meat was first quality, the buns crispy, the French fries and vegetables very tasty.
- And that nice friendly service. Those friendly waiters – friends of Paul’s who got generously rewarded by him. What he gave then it was hard to call a tip.
- Personally, I have an ambivalent view on tipping.
- It means you don’t like tipping.
- I have a dual approach to this. I’d rather the service were added directly to the bill, so that you wouldn’t have to calculate how much to tip. Another issue is something extra for an extremely good service, which in fact rarely happens.
- The U.S. system is quite hopeless because you have to calculate yourself from 15 to 20% for so-called service. In every state the percentage is different.
- Tipping makes up to 80% of the earnings of the American waiters! But now let’s go back to your first visit to Zakopane and the adventure at the mountain summits.
- On the trails there was still snow in some places making the hike not very safe.
- You were doing fine considering your boots which weren’t really meant for hiking. You surprised me when you suddenly handed me in your cell phone with your mom on the line. How was I supposed to talk to someone I’d never met?
- Normally. She already knew I went to the mountains with some guy.
- Did you tell her? Just like that?
- I had to do it sooner or later. A little earlier, just before I met you, I’d made my coming-out in the family.
- Why did you do that just then?
- I knew they were suspecting something and they began to ask questions and it was getting more and more difficult for me. They’d inquire with whom I went to a camp, with whom I talked on the phone for hours, why I was sitting at the computer for hours, and why …
- … you kept the bathroom occupied?
- They didn’t ask about that. But they did find my gay magazines that I would buy at a remote news-agent’s.
- These magazines were important to you, weren’t they?
- They were my first contact with the gay world. I learned from them that I wasn’t the only one of the sort, which I thought I was. I also learned that the "problem" concerned a lot of guys, and most importantly, I learned that I could be happy, even though ...
- … event though you were different.
- I really wanted to be in love, but I didn’t even dream of being loved. Those periodicals helped understand a lot. I felt a strong support. I felt prepared to face the world.
- Today I can say you have managed to keep a great mental balance and not to turn bitter and become, shall we say, emotionally and sexually frustrated. I think that the magazines showed you your way. Their intellectual level was, and still is, far from perfect, but their social role was not to be underestimated.
- Then in our country there wasn’t any other way to discover the world.
- I can only envy you because in my youth, there was absolutely no source to which young people could refer.
- How did you learn that you were not the only one in this world with your problem?
- It’d taken me many years. I am surprised myself that I survived. I’d wear that "secret" of mine and suffer.
- And your flaming hormones didn’t let you know about them? They didn’t push you towards guys? Didn’t you meet anyone who’d show you the way in the world?
- You won’t believe me, but the answer is no. Nothing was “pushing" me, because hormonewise I was developing very slowly. I stayed as an adolescent boy for many years, with no sexual personality. I felt my dissimilarity. I’d easier communicate with girls, I liked hanging out with some guys, but my sexual needs weren’t yet clear.
- How old were you?
- I suppose twenty!
- Oh, no! Don’t tell me you didn’t beat the meat?
- What language is that! I must’ve blushed now. Then it was called differently. I guess. Somehow beginning with a “w”.
- Answer my question. You didn’t do it[4]?
- Am I supposed to be ashamed of? Is there something wrong with that? Are you sitting well? Because it will be a shock for you! You won’t believe me! My answer to your question: No!
- You must be sick!
- Now or then?
- Now, because you’re lying, or then, because it’s impossible for a normal guy not to flog the log!
- But true! I told you that everything in me came later. Much later.
- Well. OK. But boys must’ve turned you on, mustn’t they?
- Sure. I’d fall in love with my hetero buddies, which aroused my anxiety.
- And so-called sexual fantasies? Didn’t you have them?
- I did, I did. Much later on.
- No incidents with men?
- Exactly! There were incidents which didn’t mean much more than convincing me that it was that!
- When did „it” happen?
- I told you this before. But if you necessarily want to keep reminding me ...
- That's not it. I feel sorry for you that you’d missed a lot of in life.
- I’m also sorry for myself. I can only blame, for being late for the train, the fact that I was born too soon. But seriously, I have a grudge against the Church and communism. The first one scared me throughout my childhood and early youth, and consequently deprived me of the faith. The second "disaster" made me think that in our great country, homosexuality was not present, so I had to seek my fortune elsewhere. I hated the communism for other things as well. The joy of life met me at the age of thirty!
- The communism was still alive!
- And still kicking too. And that's why it still wasn’t easy. Many, many things have got simplified in my personal life since 1989! This does not mean that the people have changed. I've changed myself and I was ready to stand up anybody I’d have to.
- And you’ve always seemed to be so ... well ... so ...
- Liberated?
- Brave and self-confident.
- Did I miss my a vocation and I should’ve become an actor...
- Did you act in front of me as well?
- No, I didn’t. I didn’t have to. I’ll tell you this once again: The fate gave me an award for many years of torture and injustice that I felt.
- How much did it give you?
- Not to be counted. It gave me you!
- How serious it sounded. Thank you; I love you too..
- You see!
[1] Venice Beach Los Angeles
[2] Słownik: masturbacja (pod tym hasłem można znaleźć setki (!) synonimów)
[3] Venice Beach Los Angeles
[4] Wikisaurus: masturbation (dozens of synonims)
