Talk thirty five.
Mexico City, 27th February
- Too little time! We were far too short in Mexico City. Four weeks in this great country and only five days in the capital. I’m sorry to be leaving.
- Especially when there are reasons why one would like to stay longer. Throughout our journey I felt the pressure of time. And you? Actually, we were too short wherever else we went.
- You are trying to provoke me to talk about what happened here, aren’t you?! I'm ready. But packing and unpacking the luggage - I will remember for a lifetime.
- Don’t complain! For Mexico, we took only one small carry-on suitcase each. This confirmed the need to minimize the travel bundles. By the way, I don’t mean to force any issues on you, but I think that something happened which is worthwhile talking. Don’t you think?
- Before we talk, let’s have a look at that recreational place of the Mexicans and numerous foreign tourists’ - – Xochimilco[4].
- These are the floating gardens built on a number of canals formed from the lake. Along these canals hundreds of colourful gondolas float with a dozen of people on each of them, with a table in the middle.
- On the gondolas, decorated with flowers, whole families or other parties eat or drink something all the time. The food is served from the boats passing by.
- Some Mariachis[5] bands play their loud music which does not necessarily mix well with the music coming from each gondola where everybody plays whatever they fancy.
- The noise here is quite significant. It’s a good place for celebrating birthdays or other festivities.
- A nice place, but I consider it as a typical tourist trap. If not for my Spanish, we would’ve been fleeced quite well.
- However, I like another district more - Zona Rosa.
- It is one of the major tourist areas of the city where in every street there’re several bars, restaurants and nightclubs, which fill up at weekend with guests, both Mexican and foreigners.
- Clubs go-go, pole dancing, etc., and gay clubs which definitely stand out.
- It is in the district where homosexuals can feel safe holding hands and demonstrate their feelings in a standard way that usually heterosexuals do.
- It's like Chueca district in Madrid and Castro in San Francisco. But only here in Mexico, in the centre of the city, far from the Zona Rosa, we've seen guys walking around holding hands, kissing and hugging. All that in the park and on the promenade next to the Opera House - Palacio de Bellas Artes[6]! And nobody was paying any attention.
- From the conversations with our gay friends from Mexico, we know that Zona Rosa is a place of their meetings. Frequenters have their own way of communication, language phrases, body language and dress code which is a set of behaviours allowing for mutual identification.
palacio
- I think that they dress fashionably, in a good taste, in which they compete with each other to stand out and eventually meet a potential partner. It has nothing to do with prostitution!
- Only in the capital, homosexuals may get married and adopt children.
- Mexico seemed to be the most liberal of all the capitals of all the Catholic countries that I have seen so far.
- You had a chance of staying on there, didn’t you?
- I knew that you wouldn’t let go and you'll be drilling the subject.
- I don’t intend to drill it, all I want is to talk over the event which touched your feelings.
- However, it was not enough for me to make any nervous or silly moves.
- Interesting. What moves you could’ve made, if I hadn’t been around!
- Let's start from the beginning, otherwise we wouldn’t explain the details of the behavior of André's.
- OK. The name has already been dropped.
- For a month had I been chatting with him on the Internet. I’d write him about our trip, the route we planned to cover, our aim in meeting local people, mainly gay men.
- I admit, you kept me informed about your contacts and our joint plans to meet up with him in the capital. The talks were interesting and his interest in getting to know two guys from Poland, were authentic.
- There was no double meaning, he’d write a lot about himself, especially about the fact that at the age of twenty eight he felt very lonely, despite working in a large company, among people and among friends.
- A standard gay whining.
- He was not depressing in these stories and didn’t accuse anyone for having tough life. He wouldn’t focus solely on himself, he was also interested in us and in our relationship.
- He wasn’t really in a hurry to talk about it all in person. He eventually arrived at the appointed place, but as a typical Mexican, more than one and a half hour late.
- After a month of travelling in Mexico now, and your knowledge of the Latinos, you should already be familiar with such their behaviour.
- I am. I am. But each time I’m pissed off, because of their total lack of respect for time. Not to mention the fact that sometimes I feel it as a lack of respect for the other person.
- Well, everybody here does the same.
- And everybody complains about it. Can you see any logic in it? Everybody criticizes nationwide corruption and at the same time participates in the dealings because they do not know how else to function in the society.
- I was very impressed with the way you talked to André when we went to lunch together that lasted all the afternoon.
- The conversation, in which, after all, you actively participated, was really interesting. André is an extremely intelligent, well-read guy, experienced in life, the youngest child in a large but dysfunctional family. Financially independent, coping well in life, with dreams he’s about to fulfill.
- True, he studies acting and really wants to be a film actor.
- I guess we cannot judge his acting talent, but we saw some acting of his during the conversation, for which we could give him some credit, but then there is still a beauty in question.
- Didn’t you like his beauty? He’s got a beautiful face, incredibly big eyes with eye-lashes a kilometre long, a charming smile, and raven black hair which he styles in a fanciful way.
- Probably, in Poland he’d draw attention to himself, but here in Mexico, I’ve seen hundreds of such guys. I liked them better than him, because, unfortunately, he cannot match them with his height. I cannot imagine in which acting parts he would be good, since the fate deprived him of this feature. A short film star?
- However, in the conversation with him you supported his ideas. Not only for his acting plans.
- We’d been both raising his spirit in many issues. He’d attentively listen when we reassured him that there would come a time in his life that it’d have some meaning, even though he hasn’t noticed it so far.
- We both know that most of the problems that pest him come from his loneliness.
- In turn, his great sensitivity doesn’t allow him to look for one stand partners, as an adventure. He dreams of a stable relationship with someone responsible, someone older. With someone for whom he would change his life.
- He’d move out from his mummy’s, he’d become independent from various arrangements he’s got stuck in. He’d begin living for himself.
- As it turned out, no one had talked to him like that. No one, like us, showed interest in his problems. He really needed the talk with us. He felt appreciated. He was mesmerized. He loved both of us. For the time being.
- Also, because the year before he finished building his own personality attending a course where he learned to take care of himself. But so far, he has failed to make the suggestions implemented.
- Why must it have been us?! Actually, not us but you!
- There were no signs of distress.
- Those serious talks with him, mainly about what concerned the life of every young gay man, must’ve shaken him. Similarly, he must’ve been pleased with our undisguised kind words and compliments.
- So much that he decided to spend with us these few days that we had left before returning to the United States.
- During a Saturday night in Zona Rosa, along with two of his friends, we were in some interesting clubs and pubs, we all had fun.
- It was cool.Everyone was in a great mood and André seemed to be at ease.
- Was there anything else that attracted your attention?
- No. I don’t think so.
- I wasn’t surprised that he was staring at you, looking for eye contact with you. It was quite natural.
- I didn’t provoke him, did I?
- Maybe not, maybe yes. Obviously, it was noticeable that you talked more with him than with Ricky. Although Ricky was equally attractive, even more active, talkative, funny and kind.
- Well, it was not the same.
- You see! Sandra was first to feel that. I heard her slight comment about André’s dreamy eyes.
- Probably premature. Everyone was in a great mood. We all had a lot of fun, and somehow the atmosphere was warm and cordial. We were making plans for the following days.
- I felt the same. With one exception. I felt that these meet-ups with the whole group wouldn’t happen as the planning, arranging and assuring of the need to meet, is a typical behavior of the Mexicans who do not bear any responsibility for word. It's all like the equivalent of our nice words to say goodbye. For them it’s not enough to say: Well, bye. Good night.
- André set a date with us for the Sunday late morning to see the Museum of Anthropology and have a stroll in the Chapultepec Park.
- But he appeared in a completely changed mood. He wouldn’t speak much and he’d give an impression that something was worrying him. He wouldn’t ask any questions and seemed to have lost interest in talking with us. So I thought.
- I didn’t suspect anything special, either, but eventually something clicked together.
- I won’t ask what it was.
- In the evening we had to go with him to a meeting with people from the course, in which André had participated the previous year.
- Those people had one thing in common: how to solve their existential problems which originated at different sources. Ever since that course, they have been getting together regularly, and seemed to be a good team.
- Why did it have to happen to us?! We shouldn’t’ve agreed to go there.
- André was among his own, in a way similar people. Full of complexes, with feigned confidence and making up for many things with making serious faces.
- It looked like a little show off in front of us.
- André, in a bad mood, very seriously, would talk about topics about which we had no idea about. They all were eagerly remembering situations they had previously gone through together. All of them must’ve deliberately been speaking very quickly, with a kind of slang they usually communicate with. I found it difficult to participate in the conversation. We were outsiders, and they made us feel this.
- André himself didn’t talk to us at all.
- No, not true. It was me who he didn’t open his mouth to. He exchanged some words with you and offered you a drink. I felt completely redundant there.
- I don’t understand why he took us there.
- But I think, I know. He wanted to be with his friends and at the same time to be with us. Correction. With you!
- Pretty soon did he feel that he had made a mistake.
- After midnight, he drove us to the hotel. When I asked him why he was so silent, he said that he was very tired and fed up! I did not want to interrogate him any further. I gave up on myself, not to spoil my mood.
- He’d drive in silence all over the city. The drive took quite long.
- In the end we had to say good night, and as it turned out for good, although we had two more days in Mexico.
- I was surprised that he quite casually said goodbye to you. He didn’t say a word about the next day.
- And I understood everything when he disappeared in your arms and froze like that for a while. It was not important to me, what he probably was whispering into your ear!
[1] Xochimilco Mexico
[2] Mariachis Mexico
[3] Palacio de Bellas Artes
[4] Xochimilco Mexico
[5] Mariachis Mexico
[6] Palacio de Bellas Artes
