Talk thirty seven.
Los Angeles, California 04th March
- One day at Terenia and John’s in Los Altos Hills allowed me to relax a bit.
- I’d’ve slept a bit longer, though. But you made me pack again!
- This time it was easier for you since our rented car was waiting in the driveway!
- We start swallowing the miles on the route to Santa Fé, New Mexico.
- We’ve got only ten days to cover about six thousand kilometres.
- There always will be too little time. We are just rolling stones…
- We had a choice: to see the southern American states or stay here in California and keep seeing friends and meeting new acquaintances. It could be as nice.
- I prefer our journey through the vastness of America, because you know how much I like driving and enjoying independence we get that way. I'm pretty tired of planes, buses, passport checks, baggage controls, check-ins, and waiting rooms, and sometimes quite nervous atmosphere at the airports.
- When I think back, more than thirty years ago, when I drove through the United States from New York to San Francisco, without a GPS, or netbook, or Internet and without money (or with far too little), I cannot get over the astonishment how I dared. Today I’d probably call it a lack of imagination.
- It’s true that the technology and gadgets completely changed the way people travel nowadays. Besides, we do not need to argue which way to go, which exit to take, or how to find a suitable motel.
- An accidentally found motel on the highway always is more expensive than the one chosen on the Internet, and we do not need to rush in the evening since the booked room is waiting for us.
- You’ve chosen M6 motels. Why?
- They offer reasonable rates and there’s a sentimental factor after my first visit to the USA. The M6 were those I’d been able to afford. They used to cost USD 10 per night.
- They are inexpensive now, too. A little bit over USD 50.
- Right now we are staying at the M6 not far from the Los Angeles centre – the Thousand Oaks Motel.
- A short stay, and in fact only a break for sleep.
- You could’ve had an extended stay in Mexico. André tried to encourage you to do so.
- It was his right to try. But this was the problem of his, which later on became my problem too.
- Did he trouble you with his confessions?
- That night at the party with his friends I began to guess what was the reason of his bad mood.
- Which he demonstrated quite pointedly. This was to my surprise, because on several occasions before, he’d emphasize how well he felt with us, and how much he emotionally received from both of us in such a short time.
- Until the moment when he realized that the situation surpassed him.
- Which confirms his emotional immaturity, despite the fact that he is no longer a young man. Such violent, fiery feelings occur at any age, but they require a certain maturity to control the emotions unhappily addressed.
- You stood up to the challenge and made me go to a meeting with André the next day.
- I wanted you to leave Mexico without a moral hangover that you left him confused and anxious that he’d just missed something in life.
- I didn’t confuse him. If so, we both did it. Him getting infatuated with me was out my control.
- You both needed that conversation. You yourself lost self-confidence. You had a chance of getting things straight.
- I didn’t have anything to get straight. Neither for him nor for myself.
- You went to see him and I had to do another entry to our travel blog. I like those moments spent at Starbucks[2] over a good cup of coffee, where broadband Internet is always for free.
- The meeting with André took me a few hours. He was grateful to you for letting me come alone and let him spit out what had got so suddenly accumulated in him.
- I didn’t give you any permission. I saw that you would like to see him and talk. You yourself had a chance to check out how you’d react to such a wave of affection that fell on you and how to handle it. How to deal with a small emotional tsunami.
- I admit that it happened to me for the first time in my life. I do not know which strings of my soul he touched, but the confession of his sudden feelings for me didn’t leave me indifferent.
- Did you feel that your heart was softening and starting to feel uncomfortable and the situation is getting a little dangerous? It scared you, didn’t it?
- Nothing scared me. For the first time I had to clarify my stand in the situation.
- The situation which he created, but let’s admit it, we had provoked it a little bit.
- As he put it, I was a revelation for him. That someone like me paid attention to him, was so good to him, warm, hearty, and wanted to listen to him.
- It's only natural that he forgot that w e b o t h were for him like that. Just you became a dream that was close to coming true.
- He told me that he had always been waiting for someone like me. And suddenly I showed up in his real life!
- Then it is difficult to act rationally. Now we must be lenient for him. I guess it was difficult for you to look at his face with those big, black eyes filled with tears.
-No, it’s not the tears that he tried to hide, anyway. As I said, I had to be strong and firm, and not to add oil to the burning fire. I didn’t want to make his suffering any longer. I had to take away from him all the hope. We were soon leaving, and he was staying with all this alone.
- You told me that he himself said that it should be easier for him after a month or so.
- Have you read his last text message: "You are something best what has ever happened to me in my life." You cannot simply ignore such a confession, can you?
- Well, absolutely without any sarcasm, I congratulate you on this success, but on the other hand, I know that an excess of unexpected feelings can be a big mental strain. However, in this particular case, you don’t need to blame yourself for all this, because you were completely unaware of what fate had in store for him. Unless ...
- Unless what?
- Unless you dreamt of making your stay in Mexico longer?
- I don’t feel like joking about it. I think that the André subject is done. OK?
[1] Starbucks
[2] Starbucks
